Many years ago Jill borrowed a sleeping bag to go camping in Pt. Reyes and I put a realistic plastic lizard inside it. (I wasn't there, but I've been told it had the desired effect. . Eeeeek!)
That lizard lived on the dashboard of her car for many years. I think maybe she talked to it from time to time, like we do when we're driving.
* * *
Not long ago, Jill bought a new car and she charged me with finding a new lizard for her dashboard. The old one had too many years in the hot sun and his foot came off.
Apparently, they no longer make perfect, realistic plastic lizards.
I've searched the Internet.
I've searched variety stores and nature stores, and I've even searched the toy bins in thrift stores.
I've contemplated finding a live lizard and waiting until it dies and then preserving it - yes, a mummy lizard.
(Once I had a herpetologist friend who took me on a collecting trip: he stunned and then caught the lizards by shooting a rubber band at them - like you did in school in the 4th grade - and it actually worked. The lizards were for an exhibit at the old Steinhart.)
Today I went to the California Academy of Sciences store, my last hope for finding a realistic lizard. These bright neon, gummy, and probably toxic made-in-China stretching lizards were all they had.
I'm sorry Jill, that's the best I can do.
Take your pick.
No, take them all.