I woke up from a long, involved nightmare where I was suddenly working in Children's Hospital E.R. again. It was understood that I was just helping out temporarily. I hadn't been there for a long time.
I kept getting angrier and angrier over the way I was simply thrown into chaos and expected to cope with the mess made by the previous shift. Everything I tried to do was sabotaged by a mistake someone else had made. It was horrible---and anger is probably not what I was feeling, it was probably more like panic---and I was so relieved to wake up and know it had only been a nightmare. I may even have said out loud, "It was only a dream."
That's made me think about the sort of person who can go to Haiti, or any disaster, and start working with whatever they find. Talk about chaos! True heroes.
And maybe I am feeling bad, feeling guilty, for not being one of them.